this was a text message sent to me by a very special someone. naisip ko, how true… how very true
you might see me happy
smiling
saying wild ideas
acting okay
you might think i’m fine
but you’ll never know anything at all
stars that shine on the outside
destroy themselves inside
when i was younger, winner ako lagi sa mga poem writing competition. meron pa tinuro sa king haiku and tanaga although ngayon, i have no idea what they are exactly…. T_T
anyway, try ko nga gumawa ng poem
___________________________________
angels fall from heavens ablaze
shot by arrows of stone and gold
appeals to the heart of a man sober
barren like the desert under a summer moon
rose petals adorn coals burning warm
touched by the wind whispering their fear
for in the air the fragrance of love, a promise of hope
lingers like thoughts, like ripples in a well
stones and earth shall crumble, the skies shall weep tears of pearls
his heart bruised and battered, stained by dust, stained by lust
shall beat once more and be aflame
there in the mist lies the one
he shall dwell on the shaft
of light and dew glimmering
touch on the lips, taste on the skin
stab and explode deep
____________________________
sa lahat ng mag-iisip. wala yan kahulugan.
"When one area of your life is going well, the other ones fall spectacularly apart."
How true.
Ewan ko. Ang gulo ng mga bagay. I couldn’t even say if I’m happy or not. It’s just crazy. My life is crazy. I feel like im the butt of the greatest joke the universe has ever conjured.
Sabi nga, ganyan ang buhay, minsan nasa taas ka, minsan nasa baba. Parng gulong nga daw e. Eh bat ganun, parang ang gulong ko mas mabilis umikot kesa sa iba. Parang ang bilis magshift from happy to sad, good to bad, sane to insane.
"Bakit ba ksi ganun?" Cyempre, lagi naman, tanong ko sagot ko. Feeling ko nga schizo ako. I have a psycho and a shrink in my head. Tanong ng retarded sa utak ko, bat ganun. Sasagutin ko rin, kasi kasalanan mo naman yan. You’ve been careless and irresponsible. Alam natin pareho how careless you can be and yet hindi ka natututo sa past mistakes mo.
Mahirap ata talaga maging ako. 29 years ko na pinapractice, still hindi ko pa mamaster ang maging ako. Ang guloooo kooo
Sad pa ko. The one person that i rely on for moral support, wala, nasa Bataan. I need a hug. I need to hold someone. I need someone to tell me that everything will work out.
Bad shot pa ko sa office… huhuhu
When will it end?
Sabi nga ni Daria, "You’re standing on my neck" - feels very much like it
when it rains it pours
bwiset talaga. ang bwiset hindi na nauubos
nasa isang jologs na school ako kanina. may job fair kami.
Bwiset #1 - As per their schedule, 8am daw setup. ok nandun ako nga 8, kamusta naman nagstart cla 10:00 na! dalawang oras ako nkatunganga
Bwiset #2 - San ka nakakita ng jobfair na ang mga tao walang dalang resume? Anong gagawin namin sa mga estudyante nila, mental telepathy na lang?
Bwiset #3 - They asked us to give a talk about the company. Schedule: 1:30pm. Awa ng dyos, 1:30 wala pa tao. I asked them if we’re gonna push through with it because if we won’t i’m leaving. Tuloy daw, hinihintay lang ung students. Aba, 2:30 na wala pa. Almost 3:00, ayun may dumating na. Kundi ka ba naman isang gag*t kalahati, nakuha pa nila magpa-bring me eh sobrang pressed for time na sila. ayun, past 3:00 sinalang yung taga-sykes para magsalita. eh next pa ko dapat. 3:30 na hindi pa tapos.
Bwiset #4 - We needed a copy of the document they gave us for our liquidation. First thing in the morning, i requested for it from their placement office. Sabi pa nung girl, sulat ko daw dun sa logsheet so she won’t forget. 3:30 na, right before I left, hiningi ko. True enough, nakalimutan. gagawin pa daw and asked for five minutes. For someone who’s been waiting for several hours doing nothing productive, my patience was really stretched to breaking. I waited. 10 minutes na, wala pa. 15 minutes na. Ayun umalis na ko.
Bwiset #5 - The cherry on the cake. Nakakuha ako ng 4 na resume sa maghapong pagtunganga - isang for IT, dalawang pang-bodega, at isang ngongo.
Bwiseeeeettttt
namfuta
namfuta
namfuta
namfuta
namfuta
san ka naman nakakita ng valentine’s day nsa opisina ka kasi may isang napakahusay na taong nagpatawag ng meeting ng 5:30pm sabay magsisimula ng past 8:00. namfuta di ba
hello may social life po ako.
may isang tao pong dapat sana sinurprise ko
bwiset talaga
kamusta naman yung umuwi ka ng 9:00pm
andami ko bitbit kasi gagamitin ko bukas
wala taxi kasi nga andaming tao
ang traffic sa roxas blvd dahil sa mga bobong akala eh walang traffic rules apg valentines
ang hirap sumakay sa lawton kasi closing ng sm manila, natural pauwi na buong mundo
nagugutom ka pa kasi nga hindi ka na nagmeryenda kasi you had dinner plans
masakait pa paa mo kalalakad eh nka-balat kang sapatos
namfuta talagaaaaaaaa
Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
Write for example, ‘The night is shattered
and the blue stars shiver in the distance.’
The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.
Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.
Through nights like this one I held her in my arms.
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.
She loved me, sometimes I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes.
Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.
To hear immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to a pasture.
What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is shattered and she is not with me.
This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.
My sight searches for her as though to go to her.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.
The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.
I no longer love her, that’s certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.
Another’s. She will be another’s. Like my kisses before.
Her voice. Her bright body. Her infinite eyes.
I no longer love her, that’s certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is short, forgetting is so long.
Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms
my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.
Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer
and these the last verses that I write for her.
PABLO NERUDA
i cannot be owned
i’d love to be owned
but that would mean you would have to live with the fact that i will, in the future, in one way or another hurt you
it’s not that i do it intentionally
it just happens
and i don’t want that
you’re too important to me
stay with me
how glamorous.
it’s a cool saturday night.
i spent it doing the laundry. panalo
although, second time ko maglaba.
totoo pala yun no, there’s something hypnotic about seeing your clothes spinning in a tub of water.
para kang in a trance… kakaiba.
then this song just hit me like a big yellow taxi. how apt, kahit na baduy..
you hit me faster than a shark attack
you saw my picture on the ________ (text removed to save face hehehe)
and you were more than just a pretty face
cause how you fooled me, i’m still amazed
well i should have know that i would be
another victim of your sexuality
and now we’re done and over with
don’t want you back
cause you’re no good for me, i know
that’s all i can say
don’t want you back
forgive my honesty but you gotta go
i don’t want you back
it started pouring like the stone cold rain
but i was blinded so i lost all commons sense
but there were things that made me realize
like all the hundreds, no, a thousand lies
don’t want you back
cause you’re no good for me, i know
that’s all i can say
don’t want you back
forgive my honesty but you gotta go
i don’t want you back
Kahit sobrang associated ko tong song na to sa yo… wala ako magagawa gusto ko cya talaga. sayang talaga… you could have been my love hahahah
Ain’t another woman that can take your spot my-
If I wrote you a symphony,
Just to say how much you mean to me (what would you do?)
If I told you you were beautiful
Would you date me on the regular (tell me, would you?)
Well, baby I’ve been around the world
But I ain’t seen myself another girl (like you)
This ring here represents my heart
But there’s just one thing I need from you (say "I do" 
Yeah, because
I can see us holding hands
Walking on the beach, our toes in the sand
I can see us on the countryside sitting on the grass, laying side by side
You could be my baby, let me make you my lady
Girl, you amaze me
Ain’t gotta do nothing crazy
See, all I want you to do is be my love
(So don’t give away)
My love
(So don’t give away)
My love
(So don’t give away)
Ain’t another woman that can take your spot, my love
(So don’t give away)
My love
(So don’t give away)
My love
(So don’t give away)
Ain’t another woman that can take your spot,
my love
Ooooh, girl
My love
My love
Now, if I wrote you a love note
And made you smile with every word I wrote (what would you do?)
Would that make you want to change your scene
And wanna be the one on my team (tell me, would you?)
See, what’s the point of waiting anymore?
Cause girl I’ve never been more sure (that baby, it’s you)
This ring here represents my heart
And everything that you’ve been waiting for (just say "I do"
Shorty, cool as a fan
On the new once again
Still has fan from Peru to Japan
Listen baby,
I don’t wanna ruin your plan
If you got a man, try to lose him if you can
Cause your girls real wild through your hands up high
Wanna come kick it wit a stand up guy
You don’t really wanna let the chance go by
Because you ain’t been seen wit a man so fly
Friend so fly i can go fly
Private, cause I handle mine
Call me candle guy, simply because I am on fire
I hate to have to cancel my vacation so you can’t deny
I’m patient, but I ain’t gonna try
You don’t come, I ain’t gonna die
Hold up, what you mean, you can’t go why?
Me and you boyfriend we ain’t no tie
You say you wanna kick it with an ace so high
Baby, you decide that I ain’t your guy
Ain’t gon lie ,Me in your space
But forget your face, I swear I will
Same mark, same bullet anywhere I chill
Just bring wit me a pair, I will
