A rainbow of joy in every cup

i hate the rain. as far as i recall i never liked the rain. for some sick strange reason, my mood is affected by rain. the only thing nice about a rainy day is the fact that it has an end. pretty soon the sun will be back.

no what if, god (or at least the Christian God) decides to flood the earth once again? if god’s incarnation on earth is morgan freeman, then he would be one cool divinity. but that’s beside the point. going back, what if the many days and nights of torrential rain will come? ah the drama that would unfold once the trimming of the species will take place

1. it will finally be revealed that noah’s decendants are all employed with aboitiz now and that all these years, they’ve been perfecting the use of steel to replace the wood which were supposedly what the arks will be made of

2. people from abs-cbn and endemol would be the first in to prepare the ark to make it livable. they would have to install all those two-way mirrors and cameras. big brother was to keep everyone entertained aboard by asking everyone to perform intelligence-inducing tasks like pretend to be pretending to have a crush on someone who’s also pretending that being a part of this show will build character

3. pairs of each specie shall be asked to board in… a singles party will be setup at the base of the plank so that single people would have the chance to start hooking up or be denied entry to the ark

4. all passengers are to pay for their fare. those who don’t have enough will be allowed as well. manny villar will pay for their fares and shamelessly campaign for the highest seat in the god-forsaken boat

5. another politician will sponsor one of the most basic necessities - glutathione. it’s gonna be a rough ride stuck in the open water for about forty days, at least fair skin will be something to look forward to once it’s over

6. all window seats will be reserved for the board of censors, moralists, religious fanatics, alcoholics, workaholics, megalomaniacs, peeping toms, perverts, emotional fuckwits, fashion victims, the pinoy idol judges and dumb chauvinists. these window seats shall be equipped with state-of-the-art ejection mechanisms that will set off at the slightest provocations. a special banner crediting and thanking bridget jones for identifying some of the criteria shall be put up at the entrance

7. in case some stupid pair of lovers would make the sex-starved captain’s crew neglect seeing an everest-sized iceberg leading to the inevitable crash and possible sinking of the ark, madam auring shall lead a pack of sexy starlets in keeping it afloat using their implants. the entire philippine government shall begin a ceremony which involves lecturing about how they are beacons of public service, integrity and purity of the soul - this, legend says, is a sure way to invoke the fires of hell upon them which will melt the iceberg and save everyone

8. once the rain is over, a text vote shall be initiated once again by abs-cbn to determine which dove will be used to look for that olive branch. they will market the idea as ” we want you to decide” though in reality they will charge P15.00 for each text… 15 x 100,000 votes = instant 1,500,000! as a consuelo-de-bobo, one texter will win P1,000 load! yipee

9. upon exit, most of everything would be washed off the face of the earth and it will be the task of everyone at the ark to repopulate the planet. however there will be one condition - they will answer the most important question of all: ARE WE GOOD?

10. in the end, after being stuck in the boat for so long, everyone will realize that we’re all bisexuals deep inside… AND WE ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER

it’s a menagerie in there

he party’s just started. more than 200 people, all yammering like fanatical cult-members on speed. funny, they’re all in my head hahahaha

the reason why i made this blog is to use it to siphon out some of the weirdness that springs eternal in this head of mine. here’s some trickles:

After so many years of contemplating on getting it, i finally decided (more on my dentist finally convinced me) to have it. For those who haven’t seen me, I don’t look bad. It’s just that I had an underbite - meaning my lower teeth are on top of my upper teeth. Think of that horrible deep sea fish you saw on Finding Nemo. Then make it way way cuter save for the jaw structure. That was me before. Highlights of this procedure:

1. For the first week, i couldn’t close my mouth totally. I had cement-like thingies put on my back molars which kept my mouth ajar by about half a centimeter. The bugs had a field day when I’m on the road. They just zoom in like cars on the express way

2. During adjustments, it can get exhausting when you have to open really wide. Once, my dentist got a bit pissed off when I wouldn’t open my mouth wide enough. I wanted to tell him that it can’t go any further considering that at least six of his fingers are already inside

3. In one session, he asked me to open wide. Being a good boy, I did - as wide as i could. He posed the mirror and that hook-like thing, then froze. He didn’t move for about a minute. All along I thought something was wrong, only to realize he was watching Beyonce and Tina Turner do the shimmy in the Grammys

4. Having this much metal in your mouth leads to the inevitable mouth sores, especially in the early stages. The first one I had was the biggest I had my whole life. Seriously, it was about 1/3 of an inch long at the side of my mouth. It was caused by constantly scratching against the wire when I talk. The wire literally sliced my cheek millimeter by painful millimeter until next thing I know it got really big. It was hard to eat, hard to talk and worse, having the braces adjusted was a nightmare. The worst: I had to open my mouth real wide (tore the flesh ooouuuccchh) and then as leverage so he can snag the rubber on my back molar, my beloved dentist squeezed real hard on it (aaaaaaaaarrrggghhhh)

5. Next stage, aligning. Since my lower jaw wasn’t aligned with my upper teeth, my upper needed to be adjusted. Rubber bands were attached from one side to another, criss-crossing on my palate - literally putting several clotheslines inside my mouth. Downside: It limited my tongue’s movement space and every morning when I look at the poor thing, it had “grill marks” where it pressed against the bands. Upside: the bands provide a means for me to display the latest green leafy vegetables in all their glory

Now don’t get me wrong - I love my dentist. It’s that twisted kind of relationship where you get more attached to people who hurt you most hehehe

noobs and nudes

ha.

notice the last post was last december. haven’t been blogging lately. not that my life ran out of excitements.

i said noobs and nudes

hmmm… noobs - no you pervert it’s not a sleazy word. it’s a play on newbie - newbs - noobs - get it? anyway the new year has been such an amazing crazy roller coaster

1.  i got into a tussle with the fat bitter witches of the garden of good an evil (hah, they know who they are). let’s just put it this way, they owe me something and i retaliated because they were moving at a glacial pace. now they made a fuss out of it citing my supposed “ingratitude” - totally missing out the point that these things wouldn’t have happened if they stood off their blubbery asses and did their job. worse, they are in denial of their fault and resorted to a smear campaign against me. the pathetic toads.

2. i got tins on my grins. after years and years of coaxing, i finally relented to having braces. no, it’s not just for show. my teeth (not teats you pervert) really need it. nothing exciting though, save for the fact that i got the biggest mouth sore in  the galaxy. it was pain beyond description. thank god it healed

3. i got a new phone. my dream came true. i got my p1i. now i am complete. now i can go to the west and live in the undying lands…. dream sequence hahahaha

4. i went to boraaaaaaaa.  my take on it: boracay = nudes hahaha don’t get me wrong it’s not a nudist beach. the nudities happened somewhere else hahaha

ciao for now. more pix next issue

pull my strings just for a thrill

everything happens because it has to happen.

everything happened because it is the result of what you did when that thing happened to you before

now that thing that happened to you would have happened anyway but you should have had a little more sense so that your choice will not lead to what is happening now

what’s happening to you now will keep on happening again if you insist on doing the same thing when the same thing happens again

now why in the world would you want everything to happen again in your next lifetime? just so you can get the sick pleasure of letting the things that happen happen again and again even if it hurts you everytime it happens?

What comes in must go out

have you ever wondered why you eat? some people say you eat to live. others say that you eat to give yourself energy to do stuff. and yet other geekier beings say that you eat because you want to get enough adenosine triphosphates to power your cellular activities. i pondered upon this the other day and came up with a simple equation.

the body needs to release solid wastes aka poop to get rid of all the waste and dirt that has accumulated in our digestive tract. if a person won’t poop, then there is a risk of "poisoning" the body because you retain stuff that’s not needed and therefore bad for you.

now putting two and two together, you eat to poop. you have to take it in just so you have something to poop because if you won’t poop, you’ll die (or at least get really sick)

now let’s toast to one of the simple joys of life, pooping. for without poop, we would have no reason to eat.

(bows and stretches arms so the nurses can strap on the straight jacket on me)

blogalore bangalore folklore

wala na naman ako magawa. gotta kill time heheheh

has it ever happened to you that you don’t know whether you were awake or you were asleep? i know, i know it kinda sounds like something out of The Matrix, but yeah it does happen to me at times. call it whatever you want, sometimes i get the feeling that i actually get an "out-of-body" experience (psychics would call it that, the feeling that you actually feel like you get separated from your solid form).

hehehe skeptic brows all over would shoot up i know. i’m not claiming i did it, i just THINK i did. picture this, i was on my way to the office, listening to my ipod as always. absently i folded my arms across my chest, looking out the window. then i looked down, i saw both my hands on my lap INSTEAD OF MY CHEST. freaky huh. what’s even freakier is that i happened several times afterwards, in the most unexpected times and places. me feeling my arms moving and yet when i look at it, it’s just in one place.

as if the freakfest isn’t enough, i get into states of half-sleep, half-wake. my eyes are closed and yet i feel them open. like i’m looking into some space with images flashing. some of them discernable, others not. i even saw someone looking back once. weird weird weird

it’s no secret to my friends that i dabble into what others would label as witchcraft (for lack of a better term i think). for me its more than that actually. it’s dealing with the mystic side of things. recognizing energies and using it heheh

before you start hearing the charmed theme, hey, this ain’t fiction. reality shocks even more at times.

follower of the old ways, the old religion. i am an old soul, that i’m sure.

sam milby, voldermort and i have something in common

WARNING DEATHLY HOLLOWS SPOILER UP AHEAD
(and baby i hope you understand why i’m doing this. if you’re my bebot, i’m not sure if you should read this)

hello y’all

it’s a bright and shiny monday, sun is up and things are looking err… sunny heheheh

just had a thought so i decided to just, you know, blog it.

those of you who read harry potter (as in really read it) might have an idea on what horcruxes are. the book said like it’s possible to rip your soul apart and store it in little thingies so that you won’t have to face mortal death right? what’s the price? since your soul’s not intact anymore then you won’t exactly be whole anymore, especially when the horcrux got destroyed, right? now, to be able to make a horcrux, you would have to do something really terrible like kill someone, right? and voldemort did that seven times, right?

well tom marvolo riddle and moi have something in common.

before you start calling the cops, NO, DID NOT KILL ANYONE TO HAVE MY OWN HORCRUX. let me explain…

you see a couple of years ago i met my soulmate. she was THE ONE, i’m telling you. being with her was like having your life complete (that’s how i knew). but then being such a prat as most guys are, i was, especially at the time, too stupid to see it. i was busy "exploring" my life and all that i can do with my young tender body (OMG!!!)

anyway to make the long story short, i had the chance to keep the other half of my soul. it was right there, right in front of me, very much willing to love and be loved in return. she was THE ONE i told you. but then i blew it. i set her aside… only to realize that it was the wrong move

then  i had a second chance. yipee. but then i blew it again. anyone who never got second chances would probably hit me smack in the head with a stiff gourd. yes i was THAT STUPID… i let her go again

and this time, i lost her for good

now what does that gotta do with voldemort:
1. i "killed" a perfectly good relationship thinking that if i did, then i would probably be better off (wrong)
2. doing so made me lose half of my soul (she was THE ONE)
3. as a result, i am left with just half a man that i should have been… a half-life… incomplete

now don’t go running around thinking that i haven’t really moved on. i did, i tried really hard (as in. count the number of beds i’ve been in). now i found someone who loves me so dearly and i love just as much

it’s just that being in touch again is just bringing everything back. i wanted to be cool about the fact that everything is over and i really can’t change anything. i give credit to those people who tell me that not everything i want i get. they’re right. they are soooooo right. damn.

but fact remains, i’m still an incomplete person

now this is the part where i transform from voldemort to sam milby

i want to be… complete

hehehehehe enjoy the rest of your life people

i’m sick T_T

i woke up with a tummy ache and it never left me the whole morning. no cause for alarm, it’s just mild. it’s like i swallowed a large balloon or something

then i feel fever coming. must have been the rain. i got drizzled on yesterday when we went out for lunch. my voice started getting hoarse for two straight days of talking with a bunch of rowdy Managers hehehe

for god’s sake why are the vents all pointed at me.

i’m going down with the flu huuhuhuu

biding my time

what a way to kill time.

i’m in this computer cafe squinting over dull yellow lighting typing black greasy keys. Ew.

keyword for the decade, at least for moi, INCONVENIENCE

i hate it when people / institutions cause me unnecessary inconvenience. less than an hour ago, on public transport, i almost threw this stupid young person’s coins on her not so pretty face. imagine, you all board a jeep and they chose to lump themselves by the door, ergo setting them a couple of meters away from the driver’s outstretched hands. AND THEN THEY WANT ME TO PASS THEIR FARE ON. STUPID MUTHAFUCKIN BITCH

i quitted from my wonderful wonderful (read: barf, barf) company in an effort to free myself from the unnecessary inconveniences of working as a slave in one of the country’s biggest machines. imagine working till ungodly hours without even knowing why the fuck are you doing it in the first place.

so there i was enjoying my freedom from those awful chains. and yeah, being a very good boy, i get rewarded for the years of presenting my bare back (that’s bare back note brokeback you pervert) for whipping (ouch!). and the only condition is… wait for two months. what the heck, two kmonths won’t be that long. problem is… it’s almost three months and i still didn’t get it. STUPID MUTHAFUCKIN err… thing. it seems like the pain and inconveniences brought about by being associated with slavedrivers isn’t enough. it’s like you really need pain up to the last morsels of your flesh. like, right before they totally let you go, they have to make you suffer one last time. i hate it, i hate it. damn

the genius that is macchiato

tall iced decaf caramel macchiato

tall iced decaf caramel macchiato

tall iced decaf caramel macchiato

drink of choice for the coffeeholic me who needs to cut down on the caffeine intake otherwise when i cut myself coffee will spew out of my very veins.

had a scare the other day. i think i had palpitation (O_o). just felt it for about three seconds, my heart literally banged in my chest like mad. no its not the kind i get when someone sinfully edible-looking passes by. made me think. i need to drink more water this time heheh

but, but, but (there’s a big butt here and it’s not mine), nothing can really come between me and my caramel macchiato. a recent pleasant discovery actually. i used to have mocha with all sorts of shots.

we had coffee (weee), my evil friends and i. a lot of catching up. we haven’t seen each other for a while and yet you can really feel how close we are. we basically know each and everyone’s dirty little secrets and moldy skeletons in the closet hehehe. what amazes me though is how different we are now compared to several years ago when we use to go out for (make a guess ^^,) coffee. back then we talked about how we’re managing as corporate slaves and how some of us would actually enjoy the torture. now, well things have changed. some of us got married, got kids and all. some are planning to follow that path. others (ehem ehem) chose a different, kinkier route - singlehood by choice. man we’re old. people in their late twenties / early thirties.

nonetheless, i hold up my macchiato for a toast:

to jozee and her (futile) attempt to leave

to tube and her (futile) attempt for birth control

to ed and her (futile) attempt to settle down and be taken seriously by a man

to martha and her (futile) attempt to be stay away from us (we love you kahit WWNTPKKPK)

to KB and her (futile) attempt to errr…. comprehend

to me and my (futile) attempt to keep my pants on (har har har)

and to everyone out there living their lame, futile lives but enjoying the ride nonetheless. here’s to you!

not yours but mine

seemed like eons ago when i last posted. keyword for the month: CHANGE

change is good. i welcome change. i abhor (did i spell it roght) stagnation.

first major change: i’m free! after eight loooooooonnnngggg years of being stuck in the not so small store,  i decided to finally take the leap (of faith as what my own dumbledore says). a lot of my friends said that initially the idea that you’re out of the pond may seem like a shock but then when you realize that you’re into something different (and hopefully better) you get an adrenaline rush. lo and behold, they were right. there is life after shoemart. people, i am free.

second: i had my head shaved - skinhead na akoooo heheh. seems apt for the new life. something i’ve been wanting to do for the longest time but never really got around to do it. now i did it and i feel good that i did. sabi nga sa company namin - we want people to look good so they feel good. true true true. i’ll post a pic one of these days hehehe

Adik ka ba ha /gg

kahit male-late na ko.

kelangan ko to i-post!

Top Ten Sign na Sobrang Addict Ka na sa RO

10. Sumakay ka ng Jeep tapos pagbayad mo ang sabi mo "mama, pa-warp po"

9. Pag may nakita kang mabilis maglakad na tao nasa isip mo agad "amps un ah naka agi up"

8. Ang tingin mo sa refletion mo sa salamin ay si Doppleganger

7. Napaniginipan mo na naghuhunt ka ng Angeling sa bakuran nyo(personal experiencce)

6. Zeny na ang hinihingi mong allowance sa parents mo

5. Pag gabi ka na nakauwi ang dahilan mo sa magulang mo "nay, naglalag kasi sa labas eh"

4. Nalilito ka kung sino ang GM sino ang Professor.

3. Ang tingin mo sa mga classmates mo ay kaparty.

2. Pagexam at di ka pinakopya ng classmates mo ang lagi mong sinasabi "amps, di na naman even share"

1. Pag nagsimba ka at communion na bigla ka nalang sumisigaw ng "PABUFFS PO PLS"

ganyan ka ba ka adik? /gg

In Demand

Isn’t it funny when you see your ex… That person who made you feel more than sad when they tell you that  they think it won’t work out or maybe that one who never made it clear if what you had wasn’t just a figment of your imagination.

Yada yada yada. So things didn’t work out as you had hoped. You fell in love and boy, you fell really hard. Basically (and graphically) it’s pretty much like jumping off a ravine knowing very well that you’re gonna land on an outcrop of sharp jagged rocks just waiting to impale you from navel to temple. That is, until someone decides to catch you. Damn romantics.

Reality kicks in just as soon as your feet are off the cliff. You realize that there’s nothing between you and those rocks but thin air. Aw. Silly, silly me.

Naturally, after being badly injured after "the great fall" you either:
1. cling to your pride and say "i will survive"
2. lash out and say, "how dare you leave this way"
3. hold on in vain as they just slip away
(note: thank mariah for this)

In short, you stand up and move your bony ass on. Rejection/breakup/unrequited love sucks. But hey, life goes on. So you go and fine some other worthier individual to invest your emotions in, praying that for god’s sake let this be the right one.

Then just when you started to move on, fate decides to exercise its twisted humor and brings the two of you back together. yeba. you and your ex face to face again..

That’s your cue. Play this song.

When we were together I was blown away
Just like paper from a fan
But you would act like I was just a kid
Like we were never gonna last

Now I’ve got someone who cares for me
He wrote my name in silver sands
I think you know you’ve lost the love of your life
And you said, I was the best you’ve ever had

Refrain :
Because I’m in demand
You’re thinking of the way you should have held my hand
And all the times you said you didn’t understand
You never had our love written in your plans
But now I’m in demand

Don’t ever think you saw the best in me
There’s a side you’ll never know
Cos love and loving are two different things
Set your sites far too low

Now I’ve got someone who cares for me
He wrote my name in silver sands
I think you know you’ve lost the love of your life
And you said, I was the best you’ve ever had

Refrain 2x

It’s only when I fall a sleep
I see that winning smile
When my dreams just move along
You’ve lost the race by miles

No go look for it. It’s called In Demand by Texas

Obsession

         

Its early in the morning And my heart is really lonely Just thinkin bout you baby Got me twisted in the head And I dont know how to take it But its driving me so crazy I dont know if its right I’m tossin turning in my bed Its 5 oclock in the morning And I still cant sleep Thinkin bout your beauty it makes me Weak… I’m feeling hopeless in my home I dont know what to do but I think I’m in love Baby… [Chorus] Amor, no es amor (if this aint love) Then what am I feeling (what am I doing wrong) Amor, no es amor (if this aint love) Is this an illusion that I have in my heart? Now I know you’re not my lady I’m just tryin to make this right I dont know what to do I’m going out of my mind So baby if u let me could I getchu to say maybe we could ride together We could do this all nite now I dont care if u got a man Baby I wish ud understand Cuz I kno he cant love u right, quite like I can Its 5 oclock in the morning And I still cant sleep Thinkin bout your beauty it makes me Weak… I’m feeling hopeless at home I dont kno what to do but I think I’m in love [Chorus] Amor, no es amor (if this aint love) Then what am I feeling? (what am I doing wrong) Amor, no es amor (if this aint love) Is this an illusion that I have in my heart? I love the way u freaky like that I love the way u freaky like that I love the way u freaky like that Its an obsession [Baby Bash] Hold up let me dream Shorty got me feelin less supreme Where my candy, where my cream Got your boy feel less supreme Hold up wait a minute baby you so damn independent Loving everything your representing Got alot of money, I love to spend it And thats whats up and I dont care what people scream You’re my blessin when I’m stressin My superfly beauty queen I’m gonna keep it saucy Cuz my money know how I do, we go rendez-vous, mi corazon belongs to you [Chorus] Amor, no es amor (if this aint love) Then what am I feeling? (what am I doing wrong) what am I do wrong [echo] Amor, no es amor (if this aint love) Is this an illusion that I have in my heart? Amor, no es amor (if this aint love) What am I feeling? (what am I doing wrong?) what am I do so wrong? [echo] Amor, no es amor (if this aint love) Is this an illusion that I have in my heart? Amor

ang kutsara at ang tinidor

breakfast na

isang skinless longanisa na lang ang natitira. kumilos ang kutsara. cya na ang babanat sa longanisa. aba, parang natutuwa naman ang longanisa. yehey.

sa kabilang ibayo, ang di alam ng kutsara, kumikilos din ang tinidor. and yeah, mas successful cya sa kutsara. san ka nga naman nakakita ng kinukutsara ang longanisa di ba.

ok na. longanisa and tinidor. bagay na bagay. meant to be. yun lang hindi nga alam ng kutsara.

kawawa naman yung kumakain. kaya nya kaya pag nagkahiwalay na ang kutsara at tinidor nyang ilang years na ding magkapartner. ano mangyayari pag tinidor na lang ang meron?

Morning wood

ok sa title.

i woke up in the middle of the night and the first person that came to mind was ___.

we’re both consenting adults hehehe what a line

kunsabagay. what’s wrong is why it feels so right, right?!?

life sucks

yeah yeah yeah

for those of you guys who like reading self-help books, etong sa inyo: shove that bleeping paperback up your scrawny little arse!

pardon the explitives, ladies and germs. i’m just a bit off the hook lately.

the great philosopher by the name of bridget jones once said, "if one part of your life is going well, another one falls spectacularly part."

notice how it’s been quantified ha, ONE. as in ONE. the cosmos must be in some weird phase where equality and balance among things is on hibernation.

things that can cause uproars like this:
1. work is a pile of !@#$. yes, there are days when one feele like wringing the necks of some people.
2. you discover that your ex has deleted you in friendster. sampal yun di ba.
3. your other pseudo-relationships are basically that - pseudo
4. you broke your heart even before you even gave it.n just when you thought you’re on the verge of getting things started, it vanishes like a blob of vomit flushed down the toilet.

now please don’t even think that this has nothing to do with me.

hindi ako yun

i’m not in denial. hindeeee

Sweet-talking, sugar-coated candyman

It’s been two weeks since i had a blog posting. that long. that means one of two things: either i don’t have time to post anything or i don’t have any oddity to talk about heheh

now that i’m here, let the blab begin

ELECTION NGAYON
Shameful but i’d admit it nonetheless, first time kong bumoto kanina. i never really cared for these things because, well i basically gave up on the government. natanggap ko na that we’re being run by clowns so i see no point in exercising this right. however it came as a realization to me lately that i was actually taking for granted of something so basic to us pinoys. i realized that there are so many people who died from other countries to get this right. i felt guilty. fine. i’ll vote.

excitedly, i went to the school where i registered. it wasn’t as crowded as i feared. i went to one of the precints to look for my name in the list. wala. next. wala. next. wala. i went through all the precints in all three floors. wala.

my name isn’t there. huhuhuh

so yun hindi ako nkaboto.

sayang boto ko pa naman si chiz and si pichay hehehe

TUMAKBO AKO

i joined my first marathon kahapon! i was with the other guys from our it dept.

sa UPD ang venue and i was in the 5k category. so how did i fare? ranked 137 out of the 600+ runners. not bad. not bad at all.

to reward myself, i bought new flipflops heheh

SUGARLIPS
its been a week since i kissed someone. it wasn’t even sensual. wala lang. pwede pa-kiss? hehehe

HEY MR. DJ, PUT A RECORD ON
i got new songs throbbing in my ipod:
1. big girls don’t cry by fergie - "i’m gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket but i gotta get a move on with my life"
2. makes me wonder by maroon 5 - "its really makes me wonder if i ever give a fuck about you"
3. candyman by christina aguilera - love the beat and the scat. galing.

andami kong hindi alam

hindi ko alam if id be happy or sad
hindi ko alam kung san na ba ko lulugar
hindi ko alam kung pano na ba
hindi ko alam kung anong problema sa kin
hindi ko alam why things go this way
hindi ko alam why i feel this way
hindi ko alam kung magkikita pa ba kami
hindi ko alam kung bakit ako nagtatanong
hindi ko alam kung bakit ba hindi ako matigil
hindi ko alam bat ayaw ako kausapin
hindi ko alam bat ang boring kong kasama ngayon
hindi ko alam kung ano na mangyayari
hindi ko na alam kung pano tatapusin ang kanta
kaya ganito na lang bigla na lang mawawala

pag bumangon ang doormat

warning: ang susunod na kwento ay weird. dala lang ng init ng araw kaya ko naisip. wlang pakialaman mga hayuf!

<open curtain>
opening song…. instrumental version ng irreplaceable ni beyonce

tagpuan: opisina
oras: alas dos ng hapon, kainitan ng panahon
eksena: usapang doormat at doorknob… ang siste, some kinda crush ni doormat ang doorknob. may pagka-dilluted kasi cya. eh eto rin namang doorknob, malagkit din tumingin sa nagiilusyong doormat

doorknob: let’s do it here
doormat: no
doorknob: bakit ayaw mo?
doormat: because its not right (naks, righteous)
doorknob: kawawa naman ako
doormat: ganun talaga no
doorknob: when was your last?
doormat: (a little hesitant) to be honest, last night (hala tama bang umamin)
doorknob: aw. may boyfriend ka pala
doormat: no. wala
doorknob: ah i see (sabay ngisi) kaya pala wala ka sa mood
doormat: no. you just don’t turn me on

toink

sabay pasok ng isang ensemble ng mga nailcutters at palito na sumasayaw ng Hustle…

do the hustle titit-tit-tirit-tirit-tit
do the hustle titit-tit-tirit-tirit-tit

<close curtain>

Ang sunshine at ang bato

Drop off all your stuff and turn on the PC.

yan ang routine ko lagi pag-uwi. check all message avenues (email, friendster, YM etc..). i dunno why i do it but i just want to see people sending me messages.

today it’s no different. galing kami ng island cove weeee
natupad ang balak kong magpa-tan. sunbathing ako and since im narcoleptic, as usual nakatulog ako. luto na ko by the time i stood up from the recliner. the result: maitim ang harap ko maputi ang likod. kelangan pagpantayin so side b naman hehehe

while i was basking in the sun, i had my ipod on and let my thoughts wander off. and then tumugtog na ang mga certain songs. the songs that remind me of the one person who i don’t wanna think about. the one person who broke my heart twice in a week. i really dunno why i keep the songs instead of delete it. alam ko namang maiisip ko lang cya when i listen to it pero still, i listen like a sick masochist.

"see all i want you to do is be my love (my love) my love (my love)…"
"bridges go burn cause now it’s your turn to cry…"
"i still remember to the day, in fact it was a third monday you came along to be the one for me. and now i’m so all alone…"
"someday, someone’s gonna love me. the way i wanted you to need me…"
"wish i could be the one, the one who could give you love…"
"don’t call me in the middle of the night no more, don’t expect me to be there…"
"don’t just stand there and then tell me you’ll love me to leave again. cause im falling in love with you again…"
"you say you dream of my face but you don’t like me, you just like the chase"
"how can i fall. how can i fall when you just won’t give me reason…"

hooooooooyyyyyyyyyy gisiiiinnnggg sunog ka na!!!!!!!!!
ayun maitim na parehas. pantay na.

ngayon pagkauwi, turn on the pc. start i-tunes. run my playlist. same songs, same sentiments.

check the phones… nandun pa yung numbers nya.
dinelete ko na yun when we broke up
nagparamdam cya ulet recently
bat ba hindi ko dinelete
sabi ko sa kanya we’ll never be friends, not after everything
ayoko naaa
naalala ko nung pinuno ko ng luha ang lagoon sa greenbelt
i need to let go
after that, quiet na ulet
nagmiss call lang one time
sabi ko pag tinawagan ko cya
mauungkat na ulet lahat
parang baul na ni-lock na
bubuksan ko na naman
sabi ko sa sarili ko, pag nangyari yun, para akong kumuha ng malaking bato at pinukpok sa ulo ko

hhhhhrrrrrmmmmm temptation
kunin ko na kaya yung malaking bato
ihampas ko na kaya sa ulo ko

nooooooooooooooooooooooo

music!

"i can’t take it, what am i waiting for. my heart’s still breaking. i miss you even more. and i can’t take it the way i could before. i hate you but i love you. i can’t stop thinking of you. don’t know what to do i’m stuck on you."

Green

Questions to ask the cosmos:

Why do i have to see a gorgeous couple looking so happy together?

How do i tell my friend how i feel? Is it mutual?

How come i always get just a little share of everything?

When will the madness stop?

What is so wrong with listening to songs from disney movies, miss saigon and les miserables?

Why can’t i stop thinking of my ex?

Why can’t i just stop thinking?

Why do people become green when they are envious?

Why do people turn green when they wanna puke?

Why is chlorophyll green? Is the plant envious? Does it wanna throw up?

Why did I become green when i saw a gorgoeus couple openly showing to the world that they love each other? maybe it’s because i wanna throw up. maybe through that, lumagpak sa harapan ko yung para sa kin.

abnormal

More than platonic

hypothetical question:

what if, just what if you wake up one morning and you realize that you love one of your friends more than you should, like beyond friendship.

or worse, you wake and you realize you finally have the balls to admit that you’ve fallen for this person but chose not to pursue it because things might get weird between the two of you

romantically, there’s the kilig factor - a la my bestfriend’s wedding. but then when you think about it, are you at the losing end? if the feeling isn’t mutual, then you’re not lovers and not even friends. wag na nga secret na lang. bahala cya sa buhay nya.

teka bat ako apektado eh hypothetical question nga. haller.

One true love

my friends and i were having dinner the other night.

as usual, kwentuhan etc. then na-open yung topic.

it started when i told them na out of the blue, my ex started texting, asking if we could be friends. i said no, of course, after everything that happened.

then one of them pointed it out. something that i didn’t want in the spotlight: "Mahal mo pa sya no? Aminin mo?"

i was dumbstruck. i wanted to say no, because that’s the truth. hindi ko na cya mahal. mali, ayoko na sya mahalin.

anyway, that where another question popped out. sino nga ba ang one true love namin.

isa lang naman sagot ko dyan e. yung soulmate ko. si sheryl a. opalla.

alam ko lahat ng mga classmates ko magta-tumbling pag nabasa to. pero i’m not ashamed to admit it - cya ang one true love ko. the one who had my heart and my soul. the one who got away. things would have been perfect… kung ndi lang ako nagloko.

i should have done this, done that. shouldn’t have done this and that. andaming regrets. ang engot ko kasi eh.

ayun, cyempre, typical reaction ko sa lahat ng failed relationships ko - humanap ng iba. pero bali-baliktarin ko man ang mundo. ang hinahanap ko, yung katulad nya. kasing sweet, sexy, ganda, talino at maldita nya. yung tipong sinasampal ako randomly kasi wala lang tapos sabay pupulupot. tipong ganun.

yun lang. sadly. malabo pa sa ilog pasig na maging kami ulet. so sorry na lang ako.

what’s weird is that, though i long to be with her, pag nagkita ata kami bigla na lang ako mamamatay.

Posible

kahit na paulit ulit na ang lahat
may makikilala ka, ok naman
dumarating yung time na maiisip mo
eto na yun
cya na to

masaya ka
masaya kayo. or at least akala mo masaya kayo
everything was good
skies are brighter
nararamdaman mo ulet yung sensation
na parang may kung anong feeling na magaan
nanjan sa dibdib mo

just when you thought
eto na
ready for the plunge
parang nung dati
i’m ready. i’ll love again
bring it on

sabay poof
akala mo lang yun
akala mo lang ganun
assuming ka kasi

talon
dive
bagsak

ayan magdusa ka
tanga ka e
bat ka na-inlove

Thanks kay yael and gosh for this

22

halika na
iyong lunurin ang problema’t kalimutan
may tanong pa ba
di na kelangang mag-isip
pagkat bughaw ang ating langit

malapit na akong matunaw
puso ko’t damdamin ay sumisigaw

dahil ako’y nasasabik
sa muli mong pagdampi sa aking labi
pagka’t ngayo’y hinahanap hanap pa rin
ang iyong tamis
sa tuwi tuwina

ito na ang sandali
ashaan mong makikinig ng walang maliw
di na kailangang pang itago ang nadarama’t magduda
matagal ka nang naiinip, di ba?

dahil ako’y nasasabik
sa muli mong pagdampi sa aking labi
dahil ngayo’y hinahanap hanap pa rin
ang iyong tamis
sa tuwi tuwina

how true

this was a text message sent to me by a very special someone. naisip ko, how true… how very true

you might see me happy
smiling
saying wild ideas
acting okay

you might think i’m fine
but you’ll never know anything at all

stars that shine on the outside
destroy themselves inside

Try ko tumula

when i was younger, winner ako lagi sa mga poem writing competition. meron pa tinuro sa king haiku and tanaga although ngayon, i have no idea what they are exactly…. T_T

anyway, try ko nga gumawa ng poem

___________________________________

angels fall from heavens ablaze
shot by arrows of stone and gold
appeals to the heart of a man sober
barren like the desert under a summer moon

rose petals adorn coals burning warm
touched by the wind whispering their fear
for in the air the fragrance of love, a promise of hope
lingers like thoughts, like ripples in a well

stones and earth shall crumble, the skies shall weep tears of pearls
his heart bruised and battered, stained by dust, stained by lust
shall beat once more and be aflame
there in the mist lies the one

he shall dwell on the shaft
of light and dew glimmering
touch on the lips, taste on the skin
stab and explode deep

____________________________

sa lahat ng mag-iisip. wala yan kahulugan.

Lunatic

"When one area of your life is going well, the other ones fall spectacularly apart."

How true.

Ewan ko. Ang gulo ng mga bagay. I couldn’t even say if I’m happy or not. It’s just crazy. My life is crazy. I feel like im the butt of the greatest joke the universe has ever conjured.

Sabi nga, ganyan ang buhay, minsan nasa taas ka, minsan nasa baba. Parng gulong nga daw e. Eh bat ganun, parang ang gulong ko mas mabilis umikot kesa sa iba. Parang ang bilis magshift from happy to sad, good to bad, sane to insane.

"Bakit ba ksi ganun?" Cyempre, lagi naman, tanong ko sagot ko. Feeling ko nga schizo ako. I have a psycho and a shrink in my head. Tanong ng retarded sa utak ko, bat ganun. Sasagutin ko rin, kasi kasalanan mo naman yan. You’ve been careless and irresponsible. Alam natin pareho how careless you can be and yet hindi ka natututo sa past mistakes mo.

Mahirap ata talaga maging ako. 29 years ko na pinapractice, still hindi ko pa mamaster ang maging ako. Ang guloooo kooo

Sad pa ko. The one person that i rely on for moral support, wala, nasa Bataan. I need a hug. I need to hold someone. I need someone to tell me that everything will work out.

Bad shot pa ko sa office… huhuhu

When will it end?

Sabi nga ni Daria, "You’re standing on my neck" - feels very much like it

Me against the cosmos

when it rains it pours

bwiset talaga. ang bwiset hindi na nauubos

nasa isang jologs na school ako kanina. may job fair kami.

Bwiset #1 - As per their schedule, 8am daw setup. ok nandun ako nga 8, kamusta naman nagstart cla 10:00 na! dalawang oras ako nkatunganga

Bwiset #2 - San ka nakakita ng jobfair na ang mga tao walang dalang resume? Anong gagawin namin sa mga estudyante nila, mental telepathy na lang?

Bwiset #3 - They asked us to give a talk about the company. Schedule: 1:30pm. Awa ng dyos, 1:30 wala pa tao. I asked them if we’re gonna push through with it because if we won’t i’m leaving. Tuloy daw, hinihintay lang ung students. Aba, 2:30 na wala pa. Almost 3:00, ayun may dumating na. Kundi ka ba naman isang gag*t kalahati, nakuha pa nila magpa-bring me eh sobrang pressed for time na sila. ayun, past 3:00 sinalang yung taga-sykes para magsalita. eh next pa ko dapat. 3:30 na hindi pa tapos.

Bwiset #4 - We needed a copy of the document they gave us for our liquidation. First thing in the morning, i requested for it from their placement office. Sabi pa nung girl, sulat ko daw dun sa logsheet so she won’t forget. 3:30 na, right before I left, hiningi ko. True enough, nakalimutan. gagawin pa daw and asked for five minutes. For someone who’s been waiting for several hours doing nothing productive, my patience was really stretched to breaking. I waited. 10 minutes na, wala pa. 15 minutes na. Ayun umalis na ko.

Bwiset #5 - The cherry on the cake. Nakakuha ako ng 4 na resume sa maghapong pagtunganga - isang for IT, dalawang pang-bodega, at isang ngongo.

Bwiseeeeettttt

namfuta

namfuta
namfuta
namfuta
namfuta
namfuta

san ka naman nakakita ng valentine’s day nsa opisina ka kasi may isang napakahusay na taong nagpatawag ng meeting ng 5:30pm sabay magsisimula ng past 8:00. namfuta di ba

hello may social life po ako.
may isang tao pong dapat sana sinurprise ko
bwiset talaga

kamusta naman yung umuwi ka ng 9:00pm
andami ko bitbit kasi gagamitin ko bukas
wala taxi kasi nga andaming tao
ang traffic sa roxas blvd dahil sa mga bobong akala eh walang traffic rules apg valentines
ang hirap sumakay sa lawton kasi closing ng sm manila, natural pauwi na buong mundo
nagugutom ka pa kasi nga hindi ka na nagmeryenda kasi you had dinner plans
masakait pa paa mo kalalakad eh nka-balat kang sapatos

namfuta talagaaaaaaaa

The most beautiful poem ever written

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

Write for example, ‘The night is shattered
and the blue stars shiver in the distance.’

The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

Through nights like this one I held her in my arms.
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.

She loved me, sometimes I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.

To hear immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to a pasture.

What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is shattered and she is not with me.

This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

My sight searches for her as though to go to her.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.

The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.

I no longer love her, that’s certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.

Another’s. She will be another’s. Like my kisses before.
Her voice. Her bright body. Her infinite eyes.

I no longer love her, that’s certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is short, forgetting is so long.

Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms
my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer
and these the last verses that I write for her.

PABLO NERUDA

Ang gulo ko

i cannot be owned
i’d love to be owned
but that would mean you would have to live with the fact that i will, in the future, in one way or another hurt you
it’s not that i do it intentionally
it just happens
and i don’t want that
you’re too important to me

stay with me

hit me like a big yellow bus

how glamorous.

it’s a cool saturday night.

i spent it doing the laundry. panalo
although, second time ko maglaba.
totoo pala yun no, there’s something hypnotic about seeing your clothes spinning in a tub of water.
para kang in a trance… kakaiba.

then this song just hit me like a big yellow taxi. how apt, kahit na baduy..

you hit me faster than a shark attack
you saw my picture on the ________ (text removed to save face hehehe)
and you were more than just a pretty face
cause how you fooled me, i’m still amazed

well i should have know that i would be
another victim of your sexuality
and now we’re done and over with

don’t want you back
cause you’re no good for me, i know
that’s all i can say
don’t want you back
forgive my honesty but you gotta go
i don’t want you back

it started pouring like the stone cold rain
but i was blinded so i lost all commons sense
but there were things that made me realize
like all the hundreds, no, a thousand lies

don’t want you back
cause you’re no good for me, i know
that’s all i can say
don’t want you back
forgive my honesty but you gotta go
i don’t want you back

Kaya hindi maka-recover fully

Kahit sobrang associated ko tong song na to sa yo… wala ako magagawa gusto ko cya talaga. sayang talaga… you could have been my love hahahah

Ain’t another woman that can take your spot my-

If I wrote you a symphony,
Just to say how much you mean to me (what would you do?)

If I told you you were beautiful
Would you date me on the regular (tell me, would you?)

Well, baby I’ve been around the world
But I ain’t seen myself another girl (like you)
This ring here represents my heart
But there’s just one thing I need from you (say "I do&quot

Yeah, because
I can see us holding hands

Walking on the beach, our toes in the sand

I can see us on the countryside sitting on the grass, laying side by side

You could be my baby, let me make you my lady

Girl, you amaze me

Ain’t gotta do nothing crazy

See, all I want you to do is be my love
(So don’t give away)
My love
(So don’t give away)
My love
(So don’t give away)
Ain’t another woman that can take your spot, my love
(So don’t give away)
My love
(So don’t give away)
My love
(So don’t give away)
Ain’t another woman that can take your spot,
my love

Ooooh, girl

My love
My love

Now, if I wrote you a love note

And made you smile with every word I wrote (what would you do?)
Would that make you want to change your scene

And wanna be the one on my team (tell me, would you?)

See, what’s the point of waiting anymore?

Cause girl I’ve never been more sure (that baby, it’s you)

This ring here represents my heart

And everything that you’ve been waiting for (just say "I do&quot

Shorty, cool as a fan

On the new once again

Still has fan from Peru to Japan
Listen baby,
I don’t wanna ruin your plan

If you got a man, try to lose him if you can

Cause your girls real wild through your hands up high

Wanna come kick it wit a stand up guy

You don’t really wanna let the chance go by

Because you ain’t been seen wit a man so fly

Friend so fly i can go fly
Private, cause I handle mine

Call me candle guy, simply because I am on fire
I hate to have to cancel my vacation so you can’t deny

I’m patient, but I ain’t gonna try
You don’t come, I ain’t gonna die

Hold up, what you mean, you can’t go why?

Me and you boyfriend we ain’t no tie

You say you wanna kick it with an ace so high

Baby, you decide that I ain’t your guy

Ain’t gon lie ,Me in your space

But forget your face, I swear I will

Same mark, same bullet anywhere I chill

Just bring wit me a pair, I will

ibang kwento ng kababalaghan

ranting ranting ranting na naman
i’m beginning to sound like a whiner namfuta

what’s more difficult than moving on?
pag yung taong ayaw mo na makita, nagparamdam ulet. it’s like a corpse coming out of the grave. yun lang. walang pinagbago. once a liar, always a liar

is it a yes or a no?
we met. we  liked each other. (tawagin nating cyang A) we held hands in the bus for crying out loud. and now you’re giving excuses. ano ba, are we going out or what? i’m not the type na pwede i-hold, so adios na.

is it that hard to get courtesies these days?
you agreed to go out on a date with someone (tawagin natin cyang B), then on the eleventh hour sasabihing reschedule daw. kamusta naman yun. sayang naman yung kinancel na gimik with friends.

yan napapala ng masyadong assuming
aba. sweet ha. malambing. perfect (tawagin natin cyang C). kakatuwa naman. cya na kaya… parang. anyway we like each other. text text. good morning sunshine. walang humpay na mwa mwa. asking questions like you care. turns out, hindi lang pala yun para sa kin. generic pala. silly me. assuming na naman. tsk tsk

on the bright side
wala sila mama, nasa bohol. i’m home alone. i’m left to cook for myself, do the laundry and iron my clothes. for someone who spent 29 years of his life pampered, bago to. although i don’t mind, i always wanted to be independent naman. find my own place and everything. and now i’m getting a taste of it. medyo mahirap pala… lalo na ngayon. hindi ko alam na pag 30 minutes na pala umiikot ang damit sa washer, nadedeform na. hello deformed boxer shorts huhuhuhu

ang espiritu ni geneva cruz at ng umuusok na bundok

kadiri na-LSS ako sa kantang to:

nakakalito ang mundo
kung sinong mahal mo syang ayaw sa yo
lalalalalalala (ndi ko alam lyrics)
kailan… kailan mo ba mapapansin ang aking lihim
kahit anong gawing lambing di mo pinapansin

ewwww ewwww ewwwww
why are you tormenting meeeee

anyway bakit ganun no…
i’ve been dating several people na the past few weeks kaso really, it’s not the same as having a constant companion. iba pa rin kasi pag, you know, may feelings heheheh

yun lang…

nakakalito ang mundo
kung sinong mahal mo syang ayaw sa yo
lalalalalalala (ndi ko alam lyrics)
kailan… kailan mo ba mapapansin ang aking lihim
kahit anong gawing lambing di mo pinapansin

kasi naman, kung gusto mo rin naman wag na magpakipot. hehehe

it’s a fact

it’s a fact: when one part of your life is going well, another part falls spectacularly into pieces.

career-wise, i think i’m doing well. all my projects are well underway and (modesty aside sa lahat ng mga officemates ko) are well-received by most, if not all who hear of it.  in short, professionally, i feel fulfilled. and i’m happy and grateful with that.

yun lang, in other parts, things are not looking as pretty. one major thing that happened was us losing the chance to win one of the most coveted cards in PRO (that’s Philippine Ragnarok Online to the uninformed hehehe). the rival guild (itago na lang natin sila sa pangalang scourge) resorted to dirty tactics to get the upper hand. i guess they knew that that was the only they could beat us. it’s so underhanded it makes me sick.

second, i just couldnt understand why two people who are obviously attracted to each other just wont get on with it? andami alibi andami dahilan. bwiset kung ayaw eh di wag. madali ako kausap.

ranting ranting ranting

Deceivingly romantic

I was browsing through my itunes library then i re-discovered an old favorite.

most of you guys may be familiar with the original (unless you were stuck under a rock since the early eighties and never saw the sun until yesterday morning)

the difference? i found this acoustic remake by Mike Mana, and when you listen to it, you’d realize that the song’s kinda romantic. go search for it in youtube or limewire

_________________________________________

"I’ll be over at ten", you told me time and again
  But you’re late, I wait around and then
  I run to the door, I can’t take any more
  It’s not you, you let me down again

Baby, baby, try to find a little time, and I’ll make you mine
I’ll be home, I’ll be beside the phone waiting for you

Why do you build me up Buttercup, baby

  Just to let me down and mess me around

  And then worst of all you never call, baby when you say you will
But I love you still, I need you more than anyone, darlin’

  You know that I have from the start

  So build me up Buttercup, don’t break my heart

To you i’m a toy but I could be the boy you adore
If you’d just let me know
I know you want to, I’m attracted to you all the more
Why do I need you so

Baby, baby, try to find a little time, and I’ll make you mine
I’ll be home, I’ll be beside the phone waiting for you

Why do you build me up Buttercup, baby

  Just to let me down and mess me around

  And then worst of all you never call, baby when you say you will
But I love you still, I need you more than anyone, darlin’

  You know that I have from the start

  So build me up Buttercup, don’t break my heart 

Sentimiento de patatas

hindi ako normal na ganito. pero eto ang ilan sa mga kanta sa aking ipod

old songs - david gates
i’ll be over you - toto
how can i fall - breathe
hands to heaven - breathe
don’t let it end - styx

may ibig sa bihin ba to?

Apektado?

Hala. Apektado?

My profile is visible only to those in my friends list. Ergo, everything you see here is not  for the rest the world to read.

Kakatawa lang kasi may nagreact.

At first i thought… what’s going on.

And now, putting two on two together, na-gets ko na.

Hindi po ikaw yun. You were good. We were great.

I was talking of someone else. Someone else i loved, but not as much as i loved you.

Yun lang… loved T_T

The sun is back

Do you believe that angels walk among us?

Ako… i think i just met one.

Yung feeling mo, no matter how bruised and battered you were, nanjan cya and to make you whole again. To make you see that even if if things didn’t work out, the sun will still shine and the world isn’t really that bad a place, and there are still good people around.

Lesson i learned:
You gave your heart to someone and you were hurt. That doesn’t give you license to blame yourself because things didn’t work out. It just happened and loss ka nya. Remember: nobody loves a person who doesn’t love himself.

That opened my eyes.

Thank you for coming into my life.
Thank you for bringing the sun back.
I won’t force you to stay and be mine.
But I so damn wish you would be.

First day

It’s been a while.

The day after, you’d realize na yung taong sobra mong minahal, wala na sa yo. Kakaiba no. Parang empty ka na ewan.

Kahit alam mo na kawalan ka nya.
Kahit na alam mong ginago ka nya.
Still alam mong minahal ka nya, at minahal mo cya.
Yun lang hindi ka nya kaya ipaglaban.

Feeling mo ang tapang mo
Pero san ka, deep inside iyakin ka rin

Dont you ever for a second get to thinking…

To the leftTo the left

To the leftTo the left

Mmmm to the left, to the leftEverything you own in the box to the leftIn the closet, thats my stuffYes, if I bought it, baby please don’t touch (don’t touch)

And keep talking that mess, thats fineCould you walk and talk, at the same time?And its my name thats on that jagSo go move your bags, let me call you a cab

Standing in the front yard, telling meHow I’m such a fool, talking ’boutHow I’ll never ever find a man like youYou got me twisted

You must not know ’bout meYou must not know ’bout meI could have another you in a minuteMatter fact, he’ll be here in a minute (baby)

You must not know ’bout meYou must not know ’bout meI can have another you by tomorrowSo don’t you ever for a second get to thinkin’You’re irreplaceable

So go ahead and get goneCall up that chick, and see if shes homeOops I bet you thought, that I didn’t knowWhat did you thinkI was putting you out for?Because you was untrueRolling her around in the car that I bought youBaby, drop them keysHurry up, before your taxi leaves

Standing in the front yard, telling meHow I’m such a fool, talking ’boutHow I’ll never ever find a man like youYou got me twisted

You must not know ’bout meYou must not know ’bout meI could have another you in a minuteMatter fact, he’ll be here in a minute (baby)

You must not know ’bout meYou must not know ’bout meI can have another you by tomorrowSo don’t you ever for a second get to thinkin’You’re irreplaceable

So since I’m not your everythingHow about I’ll be nothing? nothing at all to you (nothing, nothing)Baby I won’t shed a tear for you (I won’t shed a tear for you)I won’t lose a wink of sleep (a wink of sleep)Cause the truth of the matter is (truth is)Replacing you is so easy

To the left, to the leftTo the left, to the left

MmmmmTo the left, to the leftEverything you own in the box to the left

To the left, to the leftDon’t you ever for a second get to thinkingYou’re irreplaceable

You must not know ’bout meYou must not know ’bout meI could have another you in a minuteMatter fact, he’ll be here in a minute (baby)

You must not know ’bout meYou must not know ’bout meI can have another you by tomorrowSo don’t you ever for a second get to thinkin’ (baby! hey yea)

You must not know ’bout meYou must not know ’bout meI could have another you in a minuteMatter fact, he’ll be here in a minute (baby)

You can pack all your bags we’re finishedCause you made your bed now lay in itI could have another you by tomorrowDon’t you ever for a second get to thinkin’You’re irreplaceable

Alamat ng Doormat

Act 01
Tao 1:   Pag ikaw ba nagmahal, binibigay mo lahat para sa kanya?
Tao 2:    I move mountains for the one I love… heheh
Tao 1:    I see, ganun din ksi ako. sobrang sakripisyo para sa mahal ko, kaso hindi naman nya appreciated
Tao 2:    Ganyan talaga pag mahal mo…
Tao 1:    Sana dumating yung time na hindi na ko masasaktan
Tao 1:    Lahat naman ganyan ang wish

Act 02
Tao 2:    I love you
Tao 1:    Aaminin ko, gusto kita. Pero hindi ko pa masasabi na mahal talaga kita. Takot pa ko ibigay ang puso ko after everything that happened. Niloko na nya ko once. Takot ako masaktan ulet.
Tao 2:    That’s ok. I’m not pressuring you to love me. Just want you to know that I do.
Tao 1:    Salamat…

Act 03
Tao 1:    I think I’m falling for you
Tao 2:    Hindi nga…
Tao 1:    Yes… tayo na.
Tao 2:    Talaga? I love you.
Tao 1:    Pero hindi pa kita mahal ha
Tao 2:    Aw ganun?
Tao 1:    Basta masaya ako kasi nanjan ka.
Tao 2:    … sige na nga ok na rin yun

Act 04
Tao 1:    Hindi pa kita mahal
Tao 2:    Don’t rub it in. Masakit e
Tao 1:    Sorry… magulo kasi. Ayoko ng ganito
Tao 2:   What are you trying to tell me
Tao 1:    I don’t think I’m ready to commit. Hindi ko pa pala kaya. Magulo pa lahat.
Tao 2:    Ganun na lang yun? You’ll take it back? Bawi na lang basta?
Tao 1:    Hindi mo naiintindihan
Tao 2:   You don’t just make someone fall for you like that then take it back. Ano ba akala mo sa kin? Produkto na pwedeng isoli pag na-realize mong hindi mo pala gusto?
Tao 1:    Galit ka ba
Tao 2:    Anong gusto mo magtatalon ako sa tuwa
Tao 1:    I’m sorry. Magulo e
Tao 2:    …
Tao 1:    I have to go
Tao 2:    Then go. Umalis ka na
Tao 1:    Im not leaving without you
Tao 2:    Go! It’s either you go or I’ll go
Tao 1:    I’m not leaving
Tao 2:    Fine. I’m leaving.
(Walk out… curtains close)

Act 05
Tao 1:    I’m sorry
Tao 2:    Liar
Tao 1:    Sorry talaga
Tao 2:    Liar
Tao 1:    I made a mistake
Tao 2:    Liar. You dont tell someone these things then take it back just like that
Tao 1:    Natauhan na ko. Malinaw na lahat. I realized you were the one for me. I’m sorry I now I hurt you
Tao 2:   …
Tao 1:    I’m sorry. Please give me another chance. I know you’ll find it hard to believe me. Pero it’s true, you’re the one I want
Tao 2:    …
Tao 1:    Please…
Tao 2:    Fine.
Tao 1:    See you later

Act 06
Tao 1:    I think I’m falling for you
Tao 2:    Hindi nga
Tao 1:    Yes… I love you
Tao 2:    Aw you just made me the happiest person on the planet! I love you!
Tao 1:    I love you too… wag na tayo magaaway ha

Act 07
Tao 1:    Kumain ka na?
Tao 2:   Hindi pa… i love you
Tao 1:    I love you too, eat ka na
Tao 2:    I love you… I miss you
Tao 1:    Sana lagi ka ganyan, sweet and loving
Tao 2:    I’m not promising to be perfect, but I’ll try to be the best
Tao 1:    Ako din. Ilalaban ko to, as long as we’re together.
Tao 2:    I love you
Tao 1:   I love you too

Act 08
Tao 1:    I have to tell you this. Thank you for everything. Thanks for coming into my life. Sorry kung dinamay kita sa mga problema ko.
Tao 2:    What are you trying to tell me?
Tao 1:    I’m not ready for a relationship right now. I need to focus on my studies. Ayoko bumagsak
Tao 2:    …
Tao 1:    Kung gusto mo magusap tayo, tawagan mo ko
Tao 2:    …

After one hour…
Tao 1:   Hindi ko kaya ang isang relationship sa ngayon
Tao 2:   But you said…
Tao 1:    Nagbabago ang tao
Tao 2:    I’m not asking you to reconsider your decision. I’m just telling you na ang tao, pag ginusto nakakagawa ng paraan. You have to take responsibility over your actions instead of blaming others. Panindigan mo naman yung mga decision mo. you don’t make someone fall for you then take everything back ng ganun na lang. yes minahal kita pero hindi ko ipagsisiksikan ang sarili ko sa taong binabasura ang lahat ng tao sa paligid nya dahil lang sa problemang pwede naman solusyunan.

(Close curtain)

Grabe na ito

It’s like jumping off the Eiffel Tower with your arms wide open, not minding the fact that you’ll die as soon as you hit the ground.

It’s the pleasure of falling so deeply in love with someone, wind rushing in your ears, no longer thinking of the great possibility of being very badly hurt if it ends.

And even so, I would rather be hurt loving, than living a life of bliss without you.

I don’t care about the end. What’s more important is that right here, right now, you’re here with me.

Masyadong nag-iisip

Most of the time we survive because experience tells us that not all people have the best intentions for you. Ergo, you tend to anticipate their actions by thinking ahead. Magaling ako jan… mag-isip.

Last night my bebe taught me a good lesson - STOP THINKING. It made me stop and think. Tama nga.

Stop thinking that one thing is connected to the other because it’s not necessarily so.
Stop thinking about hidden meanings in words. Words are just words and whatever someone says is not necessarily meant to hurt you. They may just be saying it as plain fact.
Stop thinking. Stop racking your brains for reasons for mundane things and focus on what’s more important -love nya talaga kooooooo

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee love you bebe koooooooooooooooooooo

Wala talaga ako magawa sa buhay ko

Have you ever had a lot nicknames? Ako i do and dahil wala ako magawa, ie-enumerate ko sila, in chronological order

1. Doy - tawag ng mga tito ko sa mother’s side
2. Lalay - tawag ng mga tita ko sa father’s side
3. Rulan - tawag ng mga kababata ko. my parents being visayans, had THE ACCENT. cyempre being kids, ginaya nila how my mum and dad pronounced my name. it stuck, unfortunately
4. Poland / Polandits / Polandito - tawag sa kin ng mga retarded kong mga kabarkada nung elementary hahahah. hanggang ngayon, yan pa rin ang tawag sa kin ng wlang katuturan kong matalik na kaibigang si joseph joven at ng kanyang butihing ina
5. Oskee / Eekso - tawag naman sa kin ng mga walang puso’t kaluluwa kong mga classmates nung high school. specifically designed to torture me (i hated the name with a vengeance but what the hell could i do i was a little kid - literally). eto ang tawag sa kin dahil lang sa Salazar ang apilyido ko. Anyway sa ngayon ang mga kabigan ko na lang ng homicidal maniac, anorexic pediatrician at tiny curly super woman ang tumatawag nyan sa kin
6. Kookoo / Cucularis Indicus / Koo / Koops - tawag sa kin ng college barkada. among all my names this is one of my favorites. this is me. this is who i am. yun lang napaka-unglamorous ng origin… kookoo dahil sa kulangot. bwiset.
7. Roland / Rols / Rolly (ewwww) / Roli-poli-oli - ayan formal na. cyempre kasi ndi na ko bata hahahah. tawag sa kin sa office ng mga taong nagpe-pretend na ginagalang ako hahahah weee
8. Dru - the latest na bansag ng aking new found friends (and family). Named after druid, yung napakagaling na scholar sa ragnarok hahahah

and of course meron pang mga in-between na tawag sa kin such as babe, honey, sweetheart, loveydoods, mahal, sugarbabes, daddy, papa, panget, at ang napaka memorable na daddykins. hehehe

kay husay na analogy sa buhay ko

my friend and i were talking earlier. napagusapan yung isang analogy that my orther friends have creatively put together to describe me and how i view love and sex.

"alam mo, ang babae, parang plantsa yan. matagal uminit, matagal lumamig… ang lalaki naman, parang ilaw. ang daling buksan, ang dali din patayin… sa case mo (ako yun) isa kang christmas light. patay sindi ng walang kapariwaraan"

ayos.

bertdey ko wee

im 29 and the cosmos has given me not so subtle signs about how my life is going to be next year…

i met someone minutes before my birthday… we had a blast spent two hours together talking. sadly we had to part because i was full of chicken poop, i never had the guts to say what i really felt. yun lang… hindi ko nakuha number nya (MESSAGE FROM THE GREAT COSMOS: Stop thinking too much. Smell the roses, enjoy the scene)

kanina a rolling billboard (read: trucks that go around the city with a huge billboard propped on its bed) almost ran over me. i was rattled only to realize that the ad was for FRENZY CONDOMS (MESSAGE FROM THE GREAT COSMOS: Either i will die a very horny man OR i’m being reminded that using rubber will knock some sense into me in the future hihihi)

ano iniiii