it’s a menagerie in there

he party’s just started. more than 200 people, all yammering like fanatical cult-members on speed. funny, they’re all in my head hahahaha

the reason why i made this blog is to use it to siphon out some of the weirdness that springs eternal in this head of mine. here’s some trickles:

After so many years of contemplating on getting it, i finally decided (more on my dentist finally convinced me) to have it. For those who haven’t seen me, I don’t look bad. It’s just that I had an underbite – meaning my lower teeth are on top of my upper teeth. Think of that horrible deep sea fish you saw on Finding Nemo. Then make it way way cuter save for the jaw structure. That was me before. Highlights of this procedure:

1. For the first week, i couldn’t close my mouth totally. I had cement-like thingies put on my back molars which kept my mouth ajar by about half a centimeter. The bugs had a field day when I’m on the road. They just zoom in like cars on the express way

2. During adjustments, it can get exhausting when you have to open really wide. Once, my dentist got a bit pissed off when I wouldn’t open my mouth wide enough. I wanted to tell him that it can’t go any further considering that at least six of his fingers are already inside

3. In one session, he asked me to open wide. Being a good boy, I did – as wide as i could. He posed the mirror and that hook-like thing, then froze. He didn’t move for about a minute. All along I thought something was wrong, only to realize he was watching Beyonce and Tina Turner do the shimmy in the Grammys

4. Having this much metal in your mouth leads to the inevitable mouth sores, especially in the early stages. The first one I had was the biggest I had my whole life. Seriously, it was about 1/3 of an inch long at the side of my mouth. It was caused by constantly scratching against the wire when I talk. The wire literally sliced my cheek millimeter by painful millimeter until next thing I know it got really big. It was hard to eat, hard to talk and worse, having the braces adjusted was a nightmare. The worst: I had to open my mouth real wide (tore the flesh ooouuuccchh) and then as leverage so he can snag the rubber on my back molar, my beloved dentist squeezed real hard on it (aaaaaaaaarrrggghhhh)

5. Next stage, aligning. Since my lower jaw wasn’t aligned with my upper teeth, my upper needed to be adjusted. Rubber bands were attached from one side to another, criss-crossing on my palate – literally putting several clotheslines inside my mouth. Downside: It limited my tongue’s movement space and every morning when I look at the poor thing, it had “grill marks” where it pressed against the bands. Upside: the bands provide a means for me to display the latest green leafy vegetables in all their glory

Now don’t get me wrong – I love my dentist. It’s that twisted kind of relationship where you get more attached to people who hurt you most hehehe

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