Dingdong Fears

No, this is not about that overrated muscle bag who tries so hard to act all macho but is really a just talentless turd.

It’s a known fact that guys, myself included, have a special attachment (literally and figuratively) to their penises.   It’s like, the center of the universe, the very essence of existence in this world. Just this morning, as I was drying off after a shower I had a sudden inspiration to list down the Top Ten Penis-Related Things That Guys Are Scared Of. Here goes:

10.  When you realize that you got a couple of ants on your undies. Boy does that hurt/itch like nothing else.

9.  A wayward skin gets caught as you zip up. Oh that can make even Mike Tyson cry.

8. You get some action and it fails to rise in time. Not that it won’t, it just got a little delayed. Tsk tsk.

7. You pee and instead of the usual 1-2 streams, you get three! O.O

6. You had it in your head that you were at least a six. Until you met a ruler which vehemently disagreed.

5. You decided to get in shape so you hit the gym. So now you got muscular legs which emphasized how “unproportioned” your lower half is

4. You get it on with someone really hot and once it was out all your partner said was, “Oh, okay, I can work with this”

3. You were so well endowed people get scared when you wear shorts that go above the knee

2. You thought of naming your dingdong and the first name that popped in your head was “Gaylord”

and the top penis-related thing that scares the hell out of guys is

1. Your penis wriggling while screaming, “You’re so clingy stop touching me!”

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