The Unemployed Jejemon

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CONGRATULATIONS GRADUATES!!
sobrang saya ng gabe na too XD
mamimisx cu kayo
ingat kau plageh
out na poh acu
aga cu pa bukas ei

THAT, my dear friends is a glaring example of how deteriorated students’ communication skills have become. Credit goes to the girl (who shall remain anonymous lest the grammar police starts hunting her down) who authored those lines.

March has always been the month of graduations in the Philippines and traditionally, most graduates venture out into the next steps in their lives full of hopes and dreams. High school kids become college freshmen while college graduates start job hunting – both hoping that they land a good job who will pay them lots and lots of moolah.

THAT AIN’T HAPPENING AND YOU VERY WELL KNOW WHY.

Being the head of Human Resources, I have the lovely pleasure of meeting throngs of people hoping to get a job. And it pains me to see how year after year, the quality of graduates get poorer and poorer. Even from the most basic things like conversing and writing down answers to the most simple questions, they fail.

Me: “How would you like me to call you?” Applicant: “Cellphone, Sir” Me: *sigh*
Me: “Why did you take up Management?” Applicant: “Because I want to manage, Sir” Me: *sigh*
Me: “When you worked at McDonald’s, what was the most challenging experience you had?” Applicant: (Pauses to think) “Uhm, Sir when I was at the counter and the customer, he fucked me” Me: *faints*

For the record, all of those stories are true, including the last one. Turns out, she was at the counter and a furious customer told her “fuck you!”

You see, this may seem funny to some people but the sad reality is that so many people have very poor communication skills. They could hardly converse their thoughts and can’t even compose a decent, grammatically correct sentence. They can’t even get the forms right, for God’s sake!

Who referred you to our company? – Guard (turns out she walked in and asked the guard)
Color of Eyes: – Black and white (yes, somebody actually answered that)

I do not believe that there is a shortage of jobs in this country. There are plenty of jobs. It’s just that many of the people who apply for the jobs are really substandard. I often wonder how someone could have earned a college diploma and yet be totally inadequate. Here are my theories:

1. Everyone lowers their standards. If a student fails, the teacher makes him “pasang awa”. Kasi kawawa naman sya. Kasi mahirap lang yan and walang pera ang magulang. This kind of mentality is NOT HELPING THE STUDENT. People fail because they fail. People fail because they didn’t learn anything. If a person doesn’t learn anything, he has no business moving up. The tolerance for mediocrity teaches kids that they need not even attempt to achieve things because somewhere out there, somebody will take pity on them. This kind of mentality pushes them deeper and deeper into the bad situation they’re already in

2. People in the academe have minimal or zero corporate experience. The teachers themselves have no friggin idea on the demands of today’s businesses. Sure they’re trained on “the latest teaching methodologies” and “up to date concepts on their subject matter”, but do they even know how their subjects are applied in the real world? Take algebra for instance. Every single student hates it with a vengeance and their common sentiment is, “what use will this be when I get a job”. If there’s a teacher who gave anyone a concrete, sensible answer to this, let me know. Also, while we’re in the subject, look at the examples given during lessons: “Guy in boat is going down the river in x km/hr. If the river is y kilometers long, how long will it take to reach the end of he river.” FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHY WOULD YOU EXPECT YOUR STUDENTS TO KNOW HOW LONG IT WOULD TAKE WHEN NO ONE IN YOU CLASS IS LIKELY TO MEET A GUY WHO ROWS A BOAT DOWN THE RIVER?!? GET BACK TO REALITY WOMAN!

3. Technology has made things worse. With the advent of mobile communications and social networking sites, it has become common to at least have a facebook account. Nowadays, Facebook is where trends are born. And the horror of horrors is that if it’s in facebook, people assume it’s the in thing, therefore it’s cool. Take that girl who I quoted. She spells that way because all of her friends write that way. And since all of her friends are in facebook, people who see them talking this way would assume that this is the norm and therefore follow suit. And then, even their parents and teachers who are also in facebook see it and, well they simply don’t care enough to tell these poor, misguided souls that what they’re doing is actually diminishing them. We can’t blame the kids, what do they know? See the cycle?

So there you have it, dear graduates. It’s a painful and seemingly hopeless situation. Unless by some miracle, somebody who reads this gets a lightbulb moment and decides to do something, then we’re totally screwed.

Good jobs go to people who are qualified. Call me heartless but as far as I’m concerned, your diploma means nothing to me, especially if you can’t even tell me how you want me to call you.

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